Lots of Change

Lots of change, for the good around here.  Just recently I moved my horse to a new farm.  It's quiet, no one there to give me constant advice that I didn't ask for.  It will be my mare's permanent home until we purchase property of our own.  I can come and go as I please without worrying about  someone telling me how to load and unload horses, what type of food I am "allowed" to feed my horse, and what truck I am allowed to use for hauling.  Trust me, the people of the horse world have many, MANY opinions and they are all very STRONG ones, and it is often their way or the highway.

 I had a person tell me that some friends of mine COULD NOT use this particular saddle on a horse (trust me, I looked at it, it was FINE) because it would be terrible and hurt the horse's back.  Then went on to make up a story about what COULD happen, then somehow actually believed the story she made up of what could happen.  Yet, she gave this crappy training (worthless) English saddle to a kid in need--then bragged about her good Samaritan self.  It just becomes absolutely obnoxious dealing with the horse world.  I am not sure if it is a constant need to lord their perceived knowledge over people as the end all be all... and it somehow gives them self-worth or what exactly the deal is?  I try to let people know I have my own ways and my own opinions and I will do things my own way and tell them nicely, but really it boils down to finding friends who let you go about your own business, do things your own way without being in your face constantly.  As long there won't be any harm to the animal or safety issues for yourself, who cares?  I have had horse friends who ride 10 horses a day who really know for the most part what the heck they are doing, but still feel the need to control all aspects of  how and what you do with your horse and how your friendship/relationship will be...mostly if it is convenient for their world, which is really no relationship at all.   Then I have had horse friends who own horses and are scared out of their mind to ride, yet feel the need to teach you all about the right ways to ride, what equipment to use and blah, blah, blah.  Both sorts are narcissistic and exhausting to deal with.  I have learned that I can have peace within my world of love and passion for horses as long as I am not attached to a place where I am keeping my horse for a service that I am providing.  As long as people feel they own you to some degree and you have no where else to go, they will abuse that.  It isn't just me either, I just helped a friend of mine move her horses 3 days ago dealing with the exact same stuff.  Geesh.  Ridiculous.

Dealing with the grief over losing someone I loved so much is about all I can handle these days.  It is getting easier and the waves are farther apart.  But anything else in life sometimes is too much,   which makes me wipe my slate clean.  Any extra drama and I am gone.  No need to stay in an abusive situation.


On another note, the girls are doing well in school.  It has been a learning curve, but they are actually learning and some of the work is harder than I thought it would be.  I work at school in Reagan's class during the week, it is good to see how busy they are and how much work they are covering in school.  Already Reagan says she is looking forward to homeschooling next year, haha she was the one that was the most excited to go.  The novelty has worn off.  There are things I don't like, such as little 2nd graders that use the F word...how lovely.  Then of course, there are some things in their curriculum that I don't appreciate, like "pre-history"---emm, huh??  What is that??  Isn't that an oxy-moron??  I am writing that up to chat with the teacher in teacher conferences.  Cave men is what Heidi studying for history.  Oh brother, I don't care if she fails that at all.  We have our own curriculum about the beginning of man, it's called the Bible.  But, I really like Heidi's Math and Science teacher, super happy about her and she is very conservative and is wonderful to work with.  Reagan's teacher isn't warm and fuzzy but she is good at what she does.

My friend who also does my horse's feet will be coming home from vacation soon.  Next week we start up real conditioning for the horses.  Tues/Thur riding out in Alpine so horses will be ready for racing in May.  Normally I wouldn't even be starting conditioning until Feb, but...why not?  I didn't race this year so it's not like we are on a break.

My week days are becoming booked.  It's shocking that not homeschooling or working you could fill up your days, but I do!  From now until December I will be working with the church getting the living Nativity together, pulling costumes and gathering people and animals to participate in it.  That takes up a lot of my days.  Then there is small group at our house on Tuesdays, and then conditioning my horse and also working in the school.  Things get busy!  But it is good busy, the kind of busy that puts me right where I should be. It is allowing me to be busy with out any drama and I am able to heal. 

Through everything I can thank the Lord for many things.  Even for giving me life, for waking up the next day to be able to put my feet on the floor, jog down the stairs and hugs my girls when they get up.  Thankful to be able to make coffee and pour my husband a cup and tell him thank you for providing for our family.  I saw something today that said, "Be thankful for the little things, for one day they will be the big things."  I have learned this is true.  Focusing on thankfulness today.